20 Things I learnt in my 20s

Today Is my Birthday. I am entering a new chapter as I am officially a member of the 30 club!! I have had some very mixed feelings about turning thirty but now that its here I feel one thing. Grateful. I have reached this age with my husband, friends and family by my side, I have a job, a car and a house and I haven’t really had too much heartache in my life so far. I thought I would share with you some very important lessons that I learnt in my 20’s that I will take with me through this next chapter and that I feel have really helped shape the person that I am today.

  1. Forgive and Let go
  2. Be you
  3. SAVE SAVE SAVE-even if its Β£1 a week!
  4. Do what you love whole heartedly
  5. Time is precious. Money is fickle.People are complicated
  6. Be kind always
  7. Everything in moderation
  8. Its OK to say no
  9. Me time is VITAL
  10. Family&Friends come first as they will be there last- Cars, Money, Jobs they wont be there when all is said and done.
  11. Take care of yourself- Get an early night, run yourself a bath, eat an indulgent meal, watch a comedy movie/t.v
  12. “If it won’t matter in 5 years don’t spend more than 5 minutes upset about it”
  13. Spend well. Please if you have a spare 1&1/2 hours Watch ‘True Cost’ available on Netflix, This documentary really opened my eyes to the world of fast fashion and the impact its having on our world and the employees in these factories. I’m not a saint but I have definitely looked into how products are made and where they are made and have changed the way that I shop and where I shop.
  14. Breathe. Mindfulness isn’t for everyone but I don’t know where I would be without my calm app I love it.
  15. Nature is the biggest reset button. I love being outdoors I find being around nature has such a calming effect on me and my mind I try to get outside at least 15 minutes a day.
  16. Relax. Review Renew Grow. My mantra Review the things in your life are they making you happy are they helping you to grow? If not change them. Renew- Reset your goals, look at the changes you can and have made. Grow-through this you will grow into the person you want to be.
  17. Its OK to ask for help. Please ALWAYS ask for help, I am here to listen you are not alone, it doesn’t make you less of a person or weak it is necessary for your soul to ask for help.
  18. Don’t fit in. I don’t like the gym, or kale, or green juices, I don’t see the point in spending a ridiculous amount of money on clothes and shoes, I didn’t enjoy the t.v show Victoria or X-factor or Love island. I don’t think that I could name one song in the top 50 chart and #sorrynotsorry I hated strictly this year. It’s OK to like different things and It’s OK to stand out I spent A LOT of my twenties pretending to like stuff to fit in, “Justin Bieber yeah he’s a babe” “Made in chelsea watched every episode”Β  “Ted baker handbags Yeah I own 20” “Champagne is the only thing I drink” EURGHHH I actually cringe thinking about the crap I spouted when trying to fit in!! Give me a re-run of Downton Abbey and a cup of tea and I am set!!
  19. Comfort=life. I used to go out on nights out wearing 6″ Heels, Highwaisted Jeans and a tiny shirt OR 6″ Heels and a Figure hugging dress. Now I would much rather wear boot cut jeans or Jeggings, a Cosy Jumper and converse…..a coat, scarf, hat and gloves too and I am HAPPY!!
  20. Cliche but….LIVE LAUGH LOVE yes I do have this quote in pictures hanging up in my bedroom I am sometimes a walking cliche and thankfully at the age of 30 I don’t give a Fuck about it πŸ™‚ Eat the damn slice of cake, drink that extra glass of wine, buy the fluffy slippers instead of the heels, wear your PJS all weekend. Just make sure that whatever your doing makes you happy and that your doing it with every ounce of your heart and energy otherwise its not worth it at all.
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Blogmas Day 18: 2017 Review

“December already? Hasn’t This year gone quick?” I know that I am guilty of saying these things yet when I looked back for my Year Review post I couldn’t believe how long ago some of these events actually were! This year has been amazing on the whole, I have visited some amazing places, Made some amazing memories and celebrated some very exciting events in my Families&Friends Life. I was going to do a general round up but then I thought you know what….I’m going to do a month by month review instead as I did an awful lot this year so get a cuppa tea or any beverage you like really and settle in for my 2017 review πŸ™‚

January

In case you aren’t aware my Birthday is in January so unlike a lot of people I actually really enjoy January! This month I celebrated my birthday with friends and family I had a weeks worth of celebrations I’d like to say that it was a one off but honestly I do dedicate an entire week to my birthday because why not! I also visited York for the first time and it was AMAZING (we have now been back twice already!) I also got to travel first class on the train which I have never done before so I felt incredibly fancy!

January

February

We went to our friends wedding beginning of the month which was lovely I find that now I’m married myself I am always extra emotional at weddings because I know what they are going through and I have made that commitment myself if that makes any sense! Went to bugtopia which is this cute bug center I was so brave I held a snake and a spider! The not so good this month was having our car broken into luckily the guy was caught and he hadn’t taken anything of value from our car and hadn’t caused any damage to the car either.

February

March

Did lots of training at work which I was very excited about πŸ™‚ I changed my hours too I used to do 9-4 mon-fri but then changed to 8-4 mon-fri. Celebrated my Dad’s 50th birthday πŸ™‚ Went to see Beauty and the Beast at the cinema with the BFFL and that was about it for March!

April

It was my grandparents 60th Wedding Anniversary this month we had a photo taken (My parents, Brother, Darren and then My Auntie, Uncle and Cousins) for their gift πŸ™‚ At Easter we went down to somerset for a few days to see Darren’s Mum we visited some cider farms, Cheddar Gorge and drove to Lynton and Lynmouth, was a super chilled few days. Then at the end of April we had our annual bank holiday getaway at Centre Parcs which was MUCH needed!!

April

May

May is the Boys Birthday so as usual I spoilt him rotten. We went to his cousins wedding reception which was nice as we hadn’t seen that side of his family for well over a year! It was actually a really warm May we got out in the Garden loads this month and we had our first BBQ of the year which is always a success in Britain if you manage to get a BBQ done!!

May

June

So when we went to York in January for my Birthday we ended up complaining to the hotel because the Bar downstairs had a very heavy wooden door to the kitchen that was banging until gone 1 am and then started again at 5:30 am meaning we hardly slept so they gave us a complimentary stay for one night which we decided to take this month the room was amazing they gave us a little gift basket and we did so many more attractions including the dungeons as it was nicer weather! We also went to London to see the bat out of hell musical which was absolutely incredible! the staging the acting the sets the atmosphere it was just an incredible night! It was another really hot month again! I got brought a new camera by Darren which has been such an amazing gift!

June

July

Saw my cousins who I hadn’t seen in YEAR’s and I mean YEARS like we’ve all got married and they have started to have kids since we last met!! Had the annual whitewater BBQ which was as always such a huge laugh!! Then I went to DISNEYLAND PARIS!!!!!! I have never been more excited to visit anywhere ever this trip was truly the most magical experience and I cannot thank HUBBY enough for organising it for me πŸ™‚

July

August

Visited Darren’s grandparents in Hemel. I also visited the Harry potter studio tour for umm……the 6th time I think?? to see the forbidden forest expansion I am going again in December with BFFL to see Hogwarts in the snow because somehow in all 6 visits I have never visited at Christmas time! Went to Hunstanton for some fish and chips and just made the most of the nice weather and time off work, signed up to library which made me incredibly happy πŸ™‚

August

September

Our 3 year wedding anniversary ( now that time REALLY has flown!) My parents 30th wedding anniversary they loved their gifts πŸ™‚ September is always a bit of a hectic month as its the first month back to work settling new kids in and getting into a routine it always seems to either fly by or drag!

October

I changed my hours again at work! I now do 8-4 MON TUE WED and FRI because my health has really taken a toll on me, I was so run down and stressed I had a huge break down and finally admitted I needed some help and needed to slow down, Its a scary thing to admit and its scary to think how bad it might get in the future but for now my new hours are working for me πŸ™‚ Another first this month we went to watch POSH (our hometown football team) Play which was a really fun day and a fun atmosphere even though we lost! October was a difficult month for me my Grandad was taken ill and I mean ILL it was a very emotional time.( update he is getting better everyday which from that week in October is something we didn’t think we would be able to say) we went to York for the Third time this year we just love that place! We also visited our local farm to pick our pumpkin again πŸ˜€

October

November

Mums 50th this month we took her to Milton Keynes to do the indoor sky dive experience which she absolutely loved! Watched some fireworks from our house which we do every year to save money as the fireworks are literally a 5 minute drive away form our house yet cost Β£15 to watch! Darren brought me a laptop that boy is a babe he has spoilt me rotten this year!!! Then we went back to DISNEYLAND and it was just as magical it was all decorated for Christmas and we went on ALOT more rides this time around!

November

And finally December

we made it guys well done if you are still reading this far!! This month I have been busy decorating the house for Christmas, buying presents and just enjoying time with family and friends πŸ™‚ I have ended this year on a high BFFL asked me to be her bridesmaid so I am utterly honored to be asked and i’m very excited!! The rest of this month will be spent with family and friends and I look forward to what 2018 brings.

December

Thank you for your continued Love and support in 2017 I love you guys so very much and this year my blog has become a huge outlet for me and I feel that I have shared a lot more and connected with people more through my blog here’s to 2018!! xx

Much Love Natalie xxx

 

World Mental Health Day.Β 

I’ve written my story a hundred times before and deleted every word in a bout of shamefulness, you see I’ve been scared to share my story, is it different from anyone elses? Are my problems really problems at all? Am I seemingly jumping on some aparant bandwagon some people are assuming mental health is the in thing now. Will I receive love or hate or worse nothing at all. Will my worries in the end just stay inside my head tormenting me? Mental health is a funny old thing really you have these conversations daily with yourself and you end up convincing yourself that no-one will care, noone will want to listen because they all have their own shit to deal with. 15 years ago when a doctor first told me I had depression I laughed it off…. depression that’s made up isn’t it? But I went along to the councelling just to see what a professional really thought of my life….she was a load of crap and tried to convince me my family were against me and that I wouldn’t succeed if I didn’t cut ties with them, needless to say I stopped the councelling then and there and carried on business as usual. Then 9years ago when I was diagnosed with underactive thyroid I was told that depression and anxiety are ‘sideeffects’ to this illness, I went through some tough periods, I’m an incredibly sensitive person, I am a people person and I really care what people think of me. I care how I’m perceived by other people, I want to be liked, I want people to see me as doing a good job I want to be strong, I’ve faced adversities in my life being a 5″1 spotty geeky girl your going to get picked on, being struck down with a chronic illness….then another chronic illness on top of that takes its toll, I’ve had to build up my strength after being hit by a car at age 14, my family have had struggles we’ve all had to face together, and I like to think that I’m a strong capable person who isn’t defined by what I can and can’t do. Most recently though my mental health has taken another downward spiral and I always beat myself up for this, I forget that I am human and this doesn’t make me any less of a person, I’m facing 30 unsure of what to do with my life and that’s scary, the picture I had in my head isn’t working out at all….I’m talking about infertility here you see, 6 years we will have been trying for a baby and it’s unbelievable how much of a toll this takes not only on you, your partner your family, your relationship but your mental health aswell. Feeling like your body is failing you, feeling like your nothing and noone if you aren’t a mother,feeling like your failing, feeling like your partner would be better off without you, that sense of loss every month….. I’m getting there…a day at a time and that’s ok,progress…no matter how small is progress…it’s ok to go slowly just never stop. There will be down days, there will be days I want to close myself off from the world, and that’s ok too. Al I ask is that people don’t feel afraid or ashamed or embarrassed to talk about mental health, that people feel they have someone to talk to no matter how big or small their problems seem, that people have a support network for the good and the bad days! So I’m here fighting everyday and I will always be here to support anyone who needs it xxx All my love Natalie xxx

Top 5 summer outfits β˜€β˜€

People, it’s the last day of august and that for me always signals the end of summer *sigh* no I couldn’t tell you why I think it’s because from September I go into my hibernation autumn/winter mode!!

Anyways I digress, I thought that I’d show you my most worn outfits of the summer I was actually really confident with my body this summer I got my legs out loads and purchased….4 pairs of shorts!!! I never wear shorts!!! But this summer that’s pretty much all I’ve worn!!

I’ve also done things a bit differently I decided to pick the ‘outtake’ photos the ones where my hairs not quite falling right or I’m pulling a weird pose or the clothes are bunched in weird places because Ive been reflecting on social media and the image people put across and honestly it’s helped my headspace alot to rember that people only put the snapshots they want you to see,life is so heavily edited these days you need to take a step back,breathe and re-evaluate what’s important to you and look after your mental health aswell as your physical health something I had been neglecting for a while, so yes here are my unedited unscripted pictures πŸ™‚

Outfit 1

These trousers! I love these and can’t wait to style them for autumn and winter too πŸ™‚ I paired hem with a simple t-shirt either black white or grey to compliment the colours in the trousers then wore my converse or white canvas trainers and added my denim jacket on colder days πŸ™‚

Outfit two

First pair of short these black ones from Tesco are so comfy!! I will again be wearing these in autumn and winter with tights πŸ™‚ I’ve paired them alot with this cute yellow white&grey highneck top that I brought in a chairty shop, because of the colours in the top I’ve been able to wear my white trainers, white sandals and gold sandals to switch up the look.

Outfit three

Feeling like I’m in top gun!! These shorts were a real charity shop bargain they fit beautifully and they go with so many colours!! My favourite to wear has been this dark green shirt I brought a few years ago in a charity shop. To dress the look up I added my nude wedge sandals from primark but dressed the look down with trainers or flip flops.

Outfit four

These green shirts are from boohoo and they are the shortest shorts I own they are so cute the paperback waist detail is just super nice and flatters your figure, I’ve paired them alot with this white shirt I brought in a charity shop I then added a splash of colour to this outfit with my leopard print wedge sandals

Outfit five

This dress is just a really fun dress to throw on when you want to look like you made an effort! It’s so comfy it flows really nice so it’s good for bloated days and the print does all the talking!! Again I’ve been pairing it with my trusty denim jacket for colder days and added my faithful ASOS sandles to complete this look.

Xx

June Goals 🌟

So before we know it June will be upon us…the 6th month half way through the year!! So looking at how I’ve spent the first half of the year I am relatively happy lots happened I’ll admit!! There are a few changes I want to make and document for you guys and for myself so here are my June goals!

🌟Walk 10k steps a day-easy enough u have a fitbit that tracks my steps and you should walk atleast 10thousand steps a day….I however rarely reach this but everyday in june I want to walk 10thousand steps!!! 

🌟Social media ban-other than Instagram once a week and wordpress I am logging off of social media because it’s still ruling my life.

🌟No biscuits-theres one day exception and that is June 2nd very specific I know but I will be going to York…and the hotel always has biscuits on the tea tray and there’s no way I can stay inahotel room and NOT eat the biscuits other than that no biscuits they are my weakness and I need to loose weight and tone up!

🌟No mirrors. Again when I go to York the hotel room mirrors are slightly harder to avoid however at home I am going to try and not look in the mirror for a whole month. I’ve always battled with my self confidence I am so over critical and analyse my hair my skin my spots my wobbly bits so I’m hoping that by avoiding mirrors it gives me a different mindset about what I actually see in the mirror and gives me a healthier relationship with myself xx

My life story….in a shoe πŸ‘Ÿ

Sixteen years old, shy, unconfident but happy. Alternative is the style pigeon hole my peers have labelled me or as you may know it…”goth” skinny black or grey jeans black h&m hoody and my black Dr Martens boots. They were my first love but that’s for another day. I needed some more convinient shoes (anyone whose worn Dr martens knows the struggle!) So one day shopping for new shoes I saw them, there they were in an array of colours and styles low top high top knee high…..they were perfect. I went inside the shop and parted with my money walking out of the shop with the thin black box that housed my new love….converse!!

My old pair did well, they walked on Cornish sands,ran through fields,took many seaside trips,danced through performing arts exams,walked the school corridors, they were worn with jeans,dungarees, skirts,dresses,tights,frilly socks,bare sandy feet. They were my trusty gorgeous babes and they served me well for 10 long years…..sadly they have passed on to shoe heaven πŸ˜₯ but don’t be discouraged friends no no, converse.com came to the rescue!! This is not a sponsored post…boy I wish it was! This is my genuine opinion and I’ve parted with my own cash!! I decided to treat myself to a new pair (I’ve got a pay rise and decided to treat myself) I wanted another trusty pair of original black converse, well if you signed up to their email you got sent a 25%off code!! So yay! I got a new pair sent and delivered for Β£33!! Here they are the loves of my life…..now and forever a converse girl (I do love me some vans though!!)

What have I learnt?

Today is my 29th birthday. I have exactly one year until I turn 30! So what have I learnt, experienced,achieved in my20’s?? Let’s find out shall we? 

So my 20’s sure were an experience! I was I’ll admit a bit of a twat from 20-25 me and Darren argued alot split up got back together split up got back together. I lied alot, I wasn’t honest to myself or my friends, I broke my own heart, I broke other people’s hearts, I said alot of stuff that I regret,I have lost alot of people some through their own doing and some I’m ashamed to say from mine,I was niave I was young I was foolish,I thought I could have the whole world without consequences but I was wrong!!! I truly will never be able to escape some of the mistakes I made but I hope that I’ve been forgiven for them atleast.

 Then at 25 me&darren had a huge talk got it all out in the open and decided that this was it make or break no more messing about and wasting time,he proposed to me and we started house hunting and moved into our own house πŸ™‚ At 26 I got married it was the best day of my life πŸ™‚ At 28 we had to face a difficult conversation….We’d been trying for a baby for a few years  with no success so we went through our first infertility tests….They came back fine and we were told to go back in 6 months but that it would probably not be necessary….It’s been 12 and again nothings happened. I’ve had to deal with my illness taking a HUGE downward turn I mean it’s really kicked my ass these past few years,darren has also openly admitted through his social media that he’s suffered with anxiety for the past year which takes its toll on him,me and our relationship it’s been tough I won’t lie we’ve had some very very dark days between us, but we are a team and I love him unconditionally. We adopted a cat,brought a new car,brought a new bed,decorated our house lots of little commitment pieces that really cement your relationship(even though we did those things as a married couple)

I learnt to be reasonably comfortable and confident with myself I still have days where I look and feel like shit but hey everyone does right? I’ve learnt to care less about what people think. My past self was a knob, she cared about people’s opinions and followed some truly horrific advice she let herself be swayed and manipulated she took others very poor advice and acted upon other people’s beliefs and opinions instead of her own but no more! I stand my ground speak up and don’t let people’s opinions of me affect my daily life! 

I started up my blog which has given me a massive confidence boost!! Ive learnt to slow down and take my illness seriously,I can’t do everything that I wish I could,I know that now and I know that the people who really matter stick around when I flake on plans or cancel last minute because they understand me they understand it’s something that’s part of me that can’t be helped! I’ve learnt to live more in the moment switch off and be present, I’ve started to look after myself more, become more independent and strong!!

So I’ve achieved alot, I’ve learnt alot of lessons!! I’ve had ups and downs and now I’m entering my last year of these glorious 20s!! I keep changing my mind about how I feel about turning 30 but looking back and seeing how much I’ve changed and how much I’ve achieved and learnt I am for now excited to enter into my 30’s!!! 

Fom top left ages 20-28 πŸ™‚

And me today at 29!!


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