Life with a chronic illness:An open letter

Hello loves,

Today’s post is part rant and part informative (I hope)

A little backstory…..For context…

When I was 19 I started to feel unwell, I was constantly sick, felt tired all the time and picked up every bug going round, it took the doctors 8months to finally find out what was wrong with me, I had an underactive thyroid, thankfully it’s treatable with a daily tablet but it will never get better, it’s a life long illness. For a while the tablets seemed to lessen my symptoms, then I got glandular fever, which caused my immune system to shut down I was bed bound for nearly 3 months. I now have underactive thyroid, fatigue and autoimmune deficiency, I am in pain daily, I’m tired I get ill at the drop of a hat I have to be careful what I eat as thyroid can lead to a form of IBS so certain foods cause me to be sick! I have no anti bodies so even a cold can leave me bed bound as my body doesn’t know how to fight off the infection I’m more susceptible to sinusitis and ear nose and throat infections it’s just bloody hard work somedays I won’t lie!

Back story complete here’s the rant part…

Today I feel rough. A worse day shall we call it I don’t remember feeling ‘well’ but I don’t complain (often) I’m running on 4 1/2 hours sleep there’s so many bugs going round at work that I’m frightened I’ll catch I’ve got a huge headache and just feel poop….I was meant to go out today but cancelled I was also meant to go out last night but had to cancel now thankfully my friends and family are understanding of my situation and know that I am regrettably flaky!! However today I told my husband I wasn’t going out and he responds with ‘but you have to’ yes even my husband whose been with me for 10years can sometimes forget what it’s like!! So I’m here to say that regardless of whether you have an illness you don’t HAVE to do anything. I said this to him with a scowl on my face because I was annoyed! I didn’t have to go out it would’ve been nice to go out but I didn’t have to what I wanted to do was rest because this week is going to be one hectic week and I already know that by Sunday my body will be ready to give up!! I’m not articulating my thoughts well at all I’m too tired I just wanted to get the message across that all you ever have to do….Is what you darn well want to, and today I wanted to lounge around in my PJs and have a ‘sick’ day! That’s ok, you should never apologise or feel obligated to be anything other than yourself! It’s not selfish or rude or unsociable to focus on yourself once in a while so just remember that my loves

Rant over! Xx

Loving You ❀

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Sometimes I have down days,sometimes I think omg look at that huge spot,omg my hair is so frizzy,omg my make up isn’t going right,omg my bum looks huge. Sometimes I am just plain mean about myself!! It’s been a long and I mean LONG road to self appreciation and I’m happy to say the down days are few and far between I mean is anyone 100%happy about themselves 100% of the time? If they are I need to know how?!?!?! This hey you post is so beautiful and honestly you all need to read it and take it to heart trust me your all beautiful❀ I chose 5 photos that I look at and think damn girl you look fine!! The message today is just be happy life is too short and your gorgeous and I love you ❀ xx

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#fiercebitch 🐯

When the past comes calling β˜ŽπŸ‘»

Does anyone ever just sit and look through old pictures? Wondering where time went? Wondering if that person in those photos knew how it would all turn out? Wondering what the future held. Wishing they could keep that captured moments feeling forever. I have spent the last 45 minutes scrolling through old Facebook photos and picked a few that really capture how I felt at that time in my life and thought you’d like to see them so here they are

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20 years old. This was a year into our relationship everything was still new our relationship was the longest one I’d been in and everything felt perfect. We had started to discuss our future marriage babies and a house were all in the plans. We enjoyed nights out every weekend and spent every waking moment with each other!

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My 21st birthday! 2 years together and celebrating the big 21!! We went out with the few friends that bothered to come out for my birthday I was pissed and pissed off but my friends made it such a memorable night! Due to the old 100photo limit on Facebook albums I had to make three albumns to document my 21st birthday night out!!

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Cornwall. This holiday was such a great holiday with my folks and younger brother I remember we came home early which meant I could go out on the Saturday night to celebrate Halloween (look at that weather for October!) If we hadn’t left early I’d never have met my best friend Carl at Halloween met….sadly we are no longer friends which honestly is like a heart break but look at that carefree girl there not realising she was about to meet a guy who changed her world for a few years!

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It snowed end of February! This was 2011 me and Darren were on a break and I had a new group of friends that helped me get over the heartbreak. In this photo I’m wearing the highest suede heels that got ruined (thanks snow!) I was freezing cold and had just been hit with a tonne of snow but I was happy I was living.

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My brothers 18th birthday April 2011. Me and Darren were still on a break it was difficult we both missed two important moments in each other’s lives because of this I missed his dad&step mum’s wedding he missed my brothers 18th that really hit home and we got back together a month later vowing to never miss important moments in each other’s lives again. I was already pretty drunk in this photo and it wasn’t even 8pm!

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A self confidence picture. This was me when I had the confidence for one summer to wear shorts! Only one summer mind then I went back to maxi skirts and board shorts! I look so happy and carefree here I’m slowly getting there with body acceptance,I have my off days still but mainly I am proud of my body and happy that it’s fairly healthy and that’s a pretty big thing to be thankful for πŸ™‚

That’s it all the other photos I liked are ones you’ve already seen you know how the story ends we are married (2years this year!) Have a house and a fur baby πŸ™‚ I’ve made new friends lost old friends and learnt ALOT of lessons. My body confidence is getting there and my style choices are forever changing! So thank you past for calling here’s to the future πŸ’œx

Things I love β™₯

I thought I’d do a different kind of post today and let you guys know a bit more about me the person behind the blog 😘
So here is an in depth list of things that I love β™₯
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Laying in bed watching the rain lashing against the windows.
Watching the clouds go by the different types,colours,shapes.
Watching the way the wind plays in the trees.
The way the leaves change with the seasons, autumn being my favourite.
Walking through fallen leaves
Autumn walks,spring walks,summer walks.
Sitting by the lake watching the ripples in the water and the ducks swimming.
Sitting in the sunshine
Reading- curled up on the sofa, in bed,in the garden anywhere as long as I’m reading I’m happy
Hot chocolate preferably with marshmallows and cream
Biscuits bourbons are my favourites followed by hobnobs
Ice cream mint chocolate chip is the best!!
Scones with clotted cream and jam
Tea- tea solves all ills
Cute ankle socks
T bar shoes
Tea dresses
Jumpers
Downton abbey the fashion the drama amazing!!
Harry potter both books and films personally I prefer the books as they were my childhood they gave me an escape in my teenage years, the films are however brilliant seeing your childhood played out on screen.
Lord of the rings and the hobbit, the world that Tolkien created is so whimsical and magical I love the films and the books
Arthurian legend this is partly my dads doing!! I’m fascinated by the story of prince Arthur and merlin πŸ™‚
Cornwall see above its such an amazing place very into magic fairies and wizards and the most amazing landscapes its easy to forget your still in England down there!!
Car journeys when me and my husband first started dating we would get in the car with a mix CD a bag of sweets and just drive off playing the left right game at t junctions seeing where we would end up!
History I love history it was one of my favourite subjects at school
Art again another favourite subject I love how people express themselves in so many different forms
Museums πŸ™‚ seeing historical and scientific artifacts all in one place is special the natural history museum is one of my favourite places.
Labyrinth this film is me and my daddy’s film we used to watch it every day when I was little πŸ™‚ I even had the song as the world falls down played at my wedding
I’ll follow you by shinedown this song is mine and my husbands first dance song πŸ™‚
Any film with ginger Rodgers and Fred Astaire their dancing was ridiculously amazing!!! My favourite is their dance from the film shall we dance
Audrey Hepburn movies she was is and always will be my idol so graceful an amazing actress and an incredibly kind unselfish human being.
Penguins and owls my two favourite animals my house is adorned with many penguins and owls!!
Carnations they are my favourite flowers πŸ™‚
Colin Morgan, Bradley James, Harry llyod, Andrew Scott these 4  are beautiful men seriously beautiful!! I love everything they’ve been in Sherlock Dr Who Merlin Game of thrones Izombie Humans
Nail polish
Headbands
Playing cards and chess my grandad taught me how to play both
Fishing my other grandad taught me how to fish
Gardening I love my allotment
My bed enough said I love sleep!!
Jewellery I enjoy a good accessory!!
Charity shopping I love finding amazing one off treasures grabbing great bargains πŸ™‚
Lemon meringue pie and lemon cheesecake if either of these are on the dessert menus it is a struggle to choose between the two!!!
Baking I love baking making cakes and biscuits
The smell of freshly baked bread, freshly cut grass, scented candles
Baths I love a nice hot bubble bath
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I could go on but Im sure I have bored you all enough 😘 xx