What have I learnt?

Today is my 29th birthday. I have exactly one year until I turn 30! So what have I learnt, experienced,achieved in my20’s?? Let’s find out shall we? 

So my 20’s sure were an experience! I was I’ll admit a bit of a twat from 20-25 me and Darren argued alot split up got back together split up got back together. I lied alot, I wasn’t honest to myself or my friends, I broke my own heart, I broke other people’s hearts, I said alot of stuff that I regret,I have lost alot of people some through their own doing and some I’m ashamed to say from mine,I was niave I was young I was foolish,I thought I could have the whole world without consequences but I was wrong!!! I truly will never be able to escape some of the mistakes I made but I hope that I’ve been forgiven for them atleast.

 Then at 25 me&darren had a huge talk got it all out in the open and decided that this was it make or break no more messing about and wasting time,he proposed to me and we started house hunting and moved into our own house 🙂 At 26 I got married it was the best day of my life 🙂 At 28 we had to face a difficult conversation….We’d been trying for a baby for a few years  with no success so we went through our first infertility tests….They came back fine and we were told to go back in 6 months but that it would probably not be necessary….It’s been 12 and again nothings happened. I’ve had to deal with my illness taking a HUGE downward turn I mean it’s really kicked my ass these past few years,darren has also openly admitted through his social media that he’s suffered with anxiety for the past year which takes its toll on him,me and our relationship it’s been tough I won’t lie we’ve had some very very dark days between us, but we are a team and I love him unconditionally. We adopted a cat,brought a new car,brought a new bed,decorated our house lots of little commitment pieces that really cement your relationship(even though we did those things as a married couple)

I learnt to be reasonably comfortable and confident with myself I still have days where I look and feel like shit but hey everyone does right? I’ve learnt to care less about what people think. My past self was a knob, she cared about people’s opinions and followed some truly horrific advice she let herself be swayed and manipulated she took others very poor advice and acted upon other people’s beliefs and opinions instead of her own but no more! I stand my ground speak up and don’t let people’s opinions of me affect my daily life! 

I started up my blog which has given me a massive confidence boost!! Ive learnt to slow down and take my illness seriously,I can’t do everything that I wish I could,I know that now and I know that the people who really matter stick around when I flake on plans or cancel last minute because they understand me they understand it’s something that’s part of me that can’t be helped! I’ve learnt to live more in the moment switch off and be present, I’ve started to look after myself more, become more independent and strong!!

So I’ve achieved alot, I’ve learnt alot of lessons!! I’ve had ups and downs and now I’m entering my last year of these glorious 20s!! I keep changing my mind about how I feel about turning 30 but looking back and seeing how much I’ve changed and how much I’ve achieved and learnt I am for now excited to enter into my 30’s!!! 

Fom top left ages 20-28 🙂

And me today at 29!!


10 thoughts on “What have I learnt?

  1. Claire Gordon says:

    You have always been beautiful. If you could see yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you then you would never have a single doubt. Beauty comes from loving and accepting yourself for who and what you are and have. xxxx

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